I Am So Scared

Last night I spent my night at a presentation called “Planning a Life: Transition Considerations Concerning Your Chikd’s Future. Not exactly my choice of how to spend my evening but I needed to be there. My daughter will be “aging out” of special education services in school and transitioning into adult services. Soon she will turn 22 and my husband and I are now faced with deciding her future.

How exactly do you plan your child’s life? When she turned 18 we set up trust funds, wills and guardianship. That was less scary because we had an attorney helping us through it. Now we are on our own to make decisions about when she transitions out of school. Honestly the whole thing scares the bejeezus out of me. Those two words, “aging out” have become a nightmare. When she started school I was scared, but not like this. That little girl that I never could have ever imagined becoming a young adult suddenly is one. Her adult life and her happiness have now been left to us to decide.

I have the list. It’s called Adult Day Services. I need to start calling places. We’ll have to arrange a tour. We’ll have to ask questions. We’ll have to make decisions. We’ll have to get past the self doubts.

I’ll wait until Monday to call. I’ll pick up the phone and start the process to decide my child’s future. I’ll arrange that tour. I’ll bring my list of questions. I’ll have the doubt. I’ll be scared.

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