The Next Chapter

It’s the beginning of the end. The process has started. Our journey is now headed down the path toward transitioning to adult services.

The wheels have been set in motion. This week we signed the papers to start the next chapter of our daughter’s life. Signing that form was an incredibly defining moment. In a room full of people I’m sure no one else could grasp how hard that was. Those 20 seconds that it took to sign that paper will forever be a vision in my mind. Those 20 seconds changed our daughter’s life.

Guardianship has taken on new meaning. I now understand it’s necessity and purpose. There is much debate about guardianship and taking away your child’s right to make their own decisions. For us guardianship is the right thing. Becoming your child’s legal guardian is something no parent wants to do. Making decisions for your grown child is hard to do. This week we made one of the most difficult decisions we have ever made on our daughter’s behalf. We chose which path she will follow after she ages out of public school. We have begun to write the next chapter of her story.

With that decision made comes as always on this journey the second guessing. Through the years I’ve learned to rely on my gut feeling. This is one of those times. I know the program we chose for her is the right one. Gut feeling and all it’s still an unsettling mind game. I keep justifying in my mind all the reasons it’s the right program. I’ll be driving in my car or grocery shopping and in my mind I’m finding more reasons to justify our decision.

Call me crazy but with that list of justifications in my head I received a sign this week. A sign that it’s all going to be okay. Again feel free to call me crazy, at this point I certainly am but hey there’s no turning back. The Irish song Toora Loora Loora has been stuck in my head for the past few weeks. When Kelsey was little my mother used to sing her that song all the time. Kelsey and “Nana” shared a lot of time together. Nana was Kelsey’s best friend. As I was scrolling through posts this week something popped up in my feed about that song. I found out that it is believed the words Toora Loora Loora mean goodbye. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence that as we are preparing Kelsey to say goodbye to a life and routine she has always known that song and the meaning of those words should pop up in my feed. I think not. Crazy me is calling that a sign. A sign from Nana letting us know that she is with us as we venture on this next part of our journey. So for now I’ll keep singing that song in my head and trust my gut that this is all going to be okay. Toora Loora Loora the next chapter has begun.

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