The Thoughts In My Head

She turned 21 and my whole world changed. I started writing this blog in the hope of spreading awareness of what it’s like to raise a child with special needs. I try to be open and honest about our family’s journey.

Each and every family has their own journey, hardships, triumphs, good days and bad days. But we all share a common bond that no one else can truly understand. It is the understanding of “our village”. The people in our village don’t even understand the impact they have on our lives. We rely on our village at different times along our way.

I’m convincing myself nowadays that I can continue on this journey knowing that our village is with us. Again, I’m just being really honest here and apologize for the ramblings. But listen up village, we are going to need you. This next year is going to be ever so hard. It’s going to be the year of transition. A big transition. Our kids transition from pre k to kindergarten, kindergarten to middle school, middle school to high school and high school to aging out. Each and every transition is hard but this one is going to be the hardest damn one our family has ever done. I know we will get through it just like all of the other families before us but this one scares the heck out of me.

In the meantime my head is filled with random thoughts each and every day…So I once had this little girl that I didn’t know what to do with…Between the meltdowns and seizures it really was hell on earth…And now we have this beautiful young woman who has come so very far…I cry almost everyday…We are in a really good place these days…I hear her singing to herself in her room every morning waiting for the van to come and take her to her “happy place”…The program is a perfect match…It’s going to be hard to replace…Her time is running out…22 is a scary number…It’s going to be hard on her…It’s a time of lasts for everything…The last summer program…The last first day back to school…The last IEP meeting…Never would have thought that would be a sad thing…The last school vacation weeks…I need to refocus…It will all work out…I know it will…We have our village with us…Come on thoughts in my head it’s time to stop.

The year ahead will come and go, all the “last times” will pass us by and all the thoughts will go away. We’ll transition and continue on. In the meantime however my head is filled.

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